Well in a previous post, I briefly talked about my boyfriend. Well he asked me to be his girlfriend on February the 14th, valentine's day. Gesh, it was a complete and total hallmark moment. I was coming out of my 0 period class and there he was waiting for me with lovely red tulips. I'm glad that I liked him because that would have been really a terrible guilty moment to say that I wasn't interested. It was so cute; a few days before he asked me what flower was my favorite. So obvious, but really adorable.
Well then three months after he trusted me enough to tell me something... Something that was huge. He smokes marijuana (well now I can say that he did). It took me three months to get the courage to tell his parents, then I told my own. I did what I thought was right at the time, when really I should have told my parents first, but no one is being picky about that. I expected him to be furious with me, when really he called me after I told his parents. He said that he was not mad at me, for I did the right thing.
We went on break the next day, well I was the one to say that we were until he proved to be that he was for sure quiting. He said that he didn't know if he would call me while we were on break, but he called me everyday while we were on break. Sometimes, he called with nothing to say... yet he couldn't stand not at least hearing me. I couldn't stand to be without him either. I guess that's why I in a matter of one week, we got back together. It has been a month now since he's last had it. Not very long, I know, but it is not the length, it is the opportunities he's had to do it. He's had several and he has warded of the temptation. I am proud of him for quiting. He says that if it means loosing me, it was without a doubt not worth it. I trust that he will tell me though if he does do it again and not hide it because he knows that if I know he has done it again, I am gone.
I will say outright, I love him. Find me a fool, another one of those teenagers that think they know what love is, but yes I love him. With every other guy i felt a little bit of doubt in the back of my mind, yet i knew it was there... I just ignored it. This time I don't; not even a little. I know that it isn't about looks, well I'm not trying to be mean, but I've had several guys hit on me... if it was about looks, there are some guys that are... better looking. but overall? not even close to him. I am not saying he is ugly. Not in the least. I do want to marry him someday. I guess the only feeling of sort of doubt I have is hoping that he feels the same. I hope he doesn't have a little doubt in the back of his mind. I love him and care about him very much to the point where i sacrificed possibly losing our relationship for his safety. Even though I knew that if I wasn't going to be with him, it would hurt more than anything else. He means so much to me. I feel that when he is there, I am a better person. He makes me happy. His smile is more than priceless. There are the simple things that I notice and there are just small things that are so important. His eyes are, well they are breathtaking. Piercing light icy blue eyes, yet they also look so warm with his presents. He can make me laugh even if life itself feels upside down. He makes me feel safe and loved. I know he is not like my father and that he will treat me right. Even just typing all of this out, gives me the warm fuzzy feeling and I know it is love, I just know.
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