The Ways of LIfe

Last night I stayed up till 4am. I just could not sleep. My life is changing, for the better is what I've been told. My mom is acting diffrently. She is standing up for herself and me against dad. Dad will not be able to control us the way he used to; infact not at all really. I hope that I will be able to change as well. I've been told not to appoligize to my dad for yelling at him or saying "I hate you", but to instead wait for him to appoligize first and then if I want to say sorry for my part. He should say sorry for things getting out of hand, I mean my safety was in danger. Also, for slapping me. My lip STILL stings when i eat, drink, or talk... basicly if I move them. It just feels like a canker sore now, but sometimes it doesnt just hurt, but really has a stinging sensation. I am afraid that  things will get out of hand, yet again and I will be hit and not slapped the next time. Atleast this time if it does, I have mom to protect me. I have not felt safe for 13 years. It is strange to all of assuden feel safe now.

I'm still at my grandparents and will be staying here for untill monday. Then I will be brought back to the crazy nut house.

My friend's mom passed away 3 years ago, as of yesterday. I wrote on her fb wall, my own words. I felt them to be wise so I will share them on this blog.

"There are things if life that can not be explained, as only by an accident. Perhaps it was the way of life and this was one of those things that shapes who you are today. I am sorry for your loss, but it is of that loss that makes you the way you are and I wouldn't ask for you to be anyother way."
-Shelly

Maybe the things that have happened in my life were not the best. I've grown up having to be a grown-up. Never really got to be a child. Yet I am told that I am a really good person, so perhaps my parents didn't screw up that much. Yes, I do think about others too much. If you were to tell me to do something for myself that will make me happy.... I would look at you in shock. Those are things that I will fix. I still have plenty of years to make myself a better person. So I start now, so in the end I will have known that I have succeeded.

Sincierly,

Shelly